Let’s talk about something we’ve all probably experienced at some point: the sneaky little word that likes to creep into our thoughts and conversations, wreaking havoc on our self-esteem and motivation. Yes, you guessed it – “should”.
You know the drill: “I should do this”, “I shouldn’t do that”, “I should be more like…” It’s like a broken record playing in the background of our minds, constantly nagging and judging.
But what if I told you that we could kick this harmful word to the curb and start living life with a little more kindness and understanding – especially when it comes to our relationship with alcohol? Let’s dive in.
First off, let’s acknowledge the power of language. The words we use can either lift us up or tear us down, and “should” falls squarely in the latter category. Some folks even go as far as calling it an abusive word, and honestly, they might be onto something.
Think about it – when someone tells you what you “should” have done, how does it make you feel? Defensive? Resentful? Maybe even a little rebellious? Yeah, me too. It’s like being handed a guilt sandwich with a side of shame fries.
But here’s the thing: we don’t have to swallow that sandwich. We can toss it out and choose a different narrative. Instead of “shoulding” on ourselves, let’s try a little self-compassion.
For example, say you wake up one morning feeling guilty because you didn’t hit the gym like you planned. Instead of beating yourself up with “should have”, try a gentler approach. Maybe something like, “I didn’t go to the gym this morning, and I would have liked to because it makes me feel energized. But you know what? I was exhausted from work and needed some extra sleep. I’ll try again tomorrow.”
See the difference? By swapping out “should” for “could have”, we’re acknowledging our desires and limitations without judgment. We’re giving ourselves permission to be human, with all our flaws and imperfections.
And guess what? This mindset shift isn’t just good for our mental health – it can also help us make more mindful choices about our drinking habits. Instead of berating ourselves for having one too many, we can explore the reasons behind our actions with curiosity and compassion.
Maybe we had a rough day at work and needed a drink to unwind. Or maybe we were out with friends and got caught up in the moment. Whatever the case, we can choose to learn from the experience without dwelling on what we “should” have done differently.
Let’s banish the “shoulds” and make room for kindness, understanding, and a whole lot of self-love.